Walk in the Word

Wow! I just looked at the date of my last post, and I cannot believe it has been since last January! The year has just flown!
Well, here we are again at Christmastime, and I was just bemoaning the fact that I was not acheiving my goals, and just generally frustrated with my walk with Christ, because I had once again lost sight of him in this busy time of year. Thankfully, though, I had been voicing my frustration with myself to the Holy Spirit, and faithful as always, he began to reveal why. So here I am, ajusting my spiritual attitudes AGAIN. How easy it is for me to loose my vision. I wonder if God ever gets as frustrated with me as I do with myself and consequently with others?
There is so much going on in my head right now, I hardly know where to begin.
I guess I will start where I am, which is usually better than trying to go backward, because that involves stories that would just take me off point, and go where I am going, but in a round about way that is neither pretty or comfortable. For me, anyway. You might enjoy reading it, but I wouldn't enjoy revealing the darkness that is still in my heart after 43 years of following Christ.

At any rate, suffice it to say that I was struggling with the people around me just not "getting it". Now if you wonder what I mean by that statement, you may not struggle like me. In fact, you may not "get it". Not to insult your intelligence or your spirit, and truth be told, I think it is more my problem than anything. I am prideful and arrogant, and really, just plain sinful. And I am the one who really doesn't "get it" most of the time. That is what the Holy Spirit was trying to tell me.

You see, I have been frustrated with my family during this season. It started even before we began to put up the decorations. Every year it is the same thing: We start something as simple as putting up the tree (did I just say it was simple to put up a tree???) and it always ends with someone mad at someone else and feelings hurt and mom crying. After all, I just want to do a family thing for a couple of hours without all the fussing and selfishness. But it happened again this year and I cried, AGAIN. I used to love Christmas. But after 38 years of living with Scrooge and his minions, and the selfish little beasts who God has chosen to use to reveal my desperate need for him (because of my own selfishness) through (ie: children...5 of them! I must really be worse off than I had orginally thought), I no longer look forward to putting up the decorations. It is now a chore that I do, not that I enjoy. But I digress.

Anyway, they roll their eyes when I say, "hey! lets read Christmas devotions!" or "lets watch a Christmas movie" or, "you want to bake cookies with me?" well, not so much the cookies, cause they know they will get to eat some. But you get the picture. Anything that involves "Christmassy stuff", they act like they are going to the dentist.

I was just feeling so justly self-righteous, and wondering why they didn't "get it."
I mean, its our Saviours Birth for heaven's sake!!! Why wouldn't you want to savor every moment??? Why wouldn't you want to devote yourself fully to this time of year when heaven and nature sings of the glory of God in the Highest? Why I as you? Why?

So I got all up on my high horse, thinking: "I am the only one who gets it. Why don't they care? Why don't they love you like I do?" And all the while praying that they would "see what I see" and that they would love him like I do, while getting angrier and angrier, and wondering why my prayers seem to fall on deaf ears.

DUH!! So I asked God: "Why won't you just show up and fix them? They are driving me crazy!!! Especially my husband!! So I turn on the radio in the car (which I NEVER do) and here was this guy from Walk in the Word ministries talking TO ME! sounded like the voice of God, really.

He said, "what is the difficult circumstance that God is using to bring you to a place of humility before him? God orders the circumstance of your life to put you in a position to see how desperately you need him." Could it really be that simple? So I went to their website, and here is what I found:

The Benefits of Waiting


"I waited patiently for the Lord; he inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the Lord." - Psalms 40:1–3

The longer I live, the more I come to understand that life doesn't have a lot of green lights. There are hardly any times where God is like, "Do you want that? Have it right now. Why didn't you ask sooner?" More often God is like, "I'd like you to wait."

"No! I want it right now!"

God is like, "Listen! You might think you want it now, but I'm going to give it to you when you're fit to receive it. I'm going to use the process of waiting to shape you into the woman or the man that I want you to be. Getting it now wouldn't advance My purposes for you. I want you to wait."

Waiting is not an easy thing. Waiting is not passivity. Waiting on God is not the absence of efforts. Waiting is "I've done everything I know how to do but it's not enough and now I am waiting on God to do for me what I could not do for myself."

That is such an important lesson to learn. Let me tell you about some of the benefits that you get when you wait on God. Here are five verses that spell them out.

According to Psalm 40:1 when we wait on God, He hears our prayers: "I waited patiently for the Lord and He inclined to me and heard my cry."
According to Isaiah 64:4 when we wait on God, He acts on our behalf: "Nor has the eye seen a God like You who acts on behalf of those who wait for Him." That's what God is fired up about. He works for the people who wait. I wonder how many things we don't get because we're out there working for it ourselves beyond what we should and God's like, "Would you just stop that? I act on behalf of the people who wait for Me."
Psalm 25:3 says that when we wait on God, He keeps us from shame: "Indeed none of those who wait for You O God will be ashamed."
Isaiah 40:31 says that He gives strength to those who wait: "Yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength."
Psalm 37:34 tells us that those who wait for God are exalted: "Wait for the Lord and He will exalt you."
Bottom line; God always makes it worth our while to wait for Him!

So I will rejoice in this season! I will wait patiently and know that their walk is their walk and I will not try to pull them along. I will pray for God to do it in his time, and that I live long enough to see it! I will pray, God do for them what you have done for me, or something better that is beyond beyond of what I could ever imagine. And my joy will be in him and in my journey with him, without expectations on the others in my life to join my journey. For it is my journey. They have to have their own. Does that sound selfish? Hmmmm....maybe I better rethink that.....

My expectation is in him, exceedingly, abundantly, above all we could ever ask or even think....giving him glory forever and ever, because he is all that I could ever hope for and certainly more than I deserve. And it is Jesus who brings me joy in this journey. Amen!

Happy New Year!

First, I want to wish everyone a Happy, Christ-filled New Year.
Today is Day 7 of the 12 Days of Christmas, but my blog today will not be about that.
Last night I went to bed with my heart hurthin. Hurting for my friend and her daughter who is giving them a run for their money. And for myself- because my family really hurt my feelings last night.

It was after midnight, and we were getting ready to go to bed, when I mentioned doing day 6 of the 12 Days. It had been a busy day, with everyone going every which way, and I had been so busy, that I had put it off all day. When I mentioned it, I was met with groans, rolling eyes and various other signals that let me know that everyone else was displeased with my idea. These whines were not because they were tired and wanted to go to bed, but they were because they wanted to go read, play on the computer or do something, ANYTHING else.

Now, this would not have been so bad, and perhaps at another time I would have not been so hurt. After all, I did co-write the book and they have heard it for at least 4 years, they know all the stories and answers. But what made it so bad was that I had been up till 3:30 am the night before getting my oldest sons homeschool records together to send in for his credits before the deadline of Dec. 31, and then got up early to finish, AND I had left a great party early to come home so I could fix our traditional New Years Eve fondue, and celebrate by playing games with the kids like I do every New Years Eve. So I was miffed. And more than just a little bit. I said,"ok, goodnight." And went up and cried and went to sleep.

This morning, when I got up, I was still hurt. I feel like I pour every ounce of energy into them and helping them to see Christ, yet sometimes I feel like I am talking to a brick wall! The world is sooooo attractive, and so easy. And it requires only the bare minimium. Yet it only sucks the life out of us, so we are unfulfilled and left wanting more. So we try to fill it up with more world, yet are left even more empty, and desiring more self-fufilling.

Now, I have to say at this point, that I have great kids. They love me and are not afraid to show it in public, by hugging, kissing, holding hands, and by mostly doing what they are asked. And I think they love God. They all say they do, and exhibit an early love for him. But they are kids. They want to get by with the bare minimium, and when I ask them to do something extra, especially when they are busy doing something else, its the rolling eyes and huffing. They do it, but they want to be doing what they want to do and not be interrupted.

This morning, as I was praying about this in my garden, God showed me my own heart, and how I sometimes treat him as my father, and let me tell you, it is the same way as my kids sometimes treat me. OUCH!

You see, until recently, I didn't really want to read his word and spend time with him. I would say I wanted to, and I certainly felt him calling me and loving me toward him, but I was resistant. But as I have fallen in love with him more and more, I want to spend every minute with him. But it wasn't always that way. I struggled greatly for many years with a consistant "quiet time". But I never would admit it because everyone around me seemed so perfect.

But even now, I still struggle. Not so much with the daily time, but with other things that take up "my time". Like going to church. Really. I struggle with that because it takes so much time and energy to get ready to go, then travel time, then about 75 minutes of church, most of it just sitting there with my hands idle, then driving home, or eating out, half the day is gone. And we don't really know anyone at church, so going there is just not attractive. I would rather just sit at home in my P.J.'s and watch it live on the internet while I sip my tea and crochet. I am always glad I went, but it is a struggle to get out the door.

And what about other ministry and service opportunities? Quite frankly, sometimes I resent the time it takes to serve. I want to serve who I want and when I want to do it. I don't want to go to a soup kitchen or to help in kids ministry. I would reather just give money. I don't want to to to India or Asia or even North Palm Beach just 10 minutes up the road. Its easier just to throw money at the problem than to get involved.

You see, time is the only thing that we have to give that is really ours and we won't ever get more of. And it is the only thing that I really have control of. I know I have to sleep and do some work, but even those things, we have some control of. But God wants it all. And he doesn't want me to roll my eyes or sigh when he gives me something 'extra' to do. After all, if I were doing it directly to him, it would be easy, right? I mean, if I knew that Jesus would be there, wouldn't I jump at the opportunity to serve him at a soup kitchen? Or minister to a group of kids in Sunday School? Or cook a meal for him?

I just thought of something...perhaps that was the difference in Mary and Martha. Mary wanted to just love him. Martha was so busy making preparations and being resentful that she forgot that it was a joy to have the priviledge to serve him. I forget that with my family sometimes.

So I am, with his gentle help, going to give my time more freely to him and do some of the ministry things that I have been putting off, or think that they take too much time. Like going to ladies Bible study on Tuesdays. And writing more. And other service opportunities as they arise. And I am going to forgive my kids and keep plugging away. After all, that is what God as my Father has done for me. He has not given up and neither will I. One day they will "get it".

Romans 12:1 taken from 'The Message' says:
So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.
I also love the 3rd chapter of Colossians for more confirmation.

My brother-in-law and sister-in-law gave me a book with prints of beautiful flowers and scripture along side it. Todays scripture really fits (God works like that)and I wanted to share that with you too.
Ps. 71:14-16
As for me, I will always have hope.
I will praise you more and more.
My mouth will tell of your righteousness
of your salvation all day long.
though I know not its measure.

I will come and proclaim your mighty acts,
O soverign Lord;
I will come and proclaim your righteousness,
Yours alone.

Since my youth, O God, You have taught me,
And to this day I declare your marvelous deeds.
Even when I am old and gray,
Do not forsake me, O God,
till I delare your power to the next generation,
your might to all who ar to come.

Enjoy your day! Visit www.12daysbook.com and share the 12 days of Christmas with us!

Day two of the 12 Days of Christmas

Today was Sunday, and worship day. We are so blessed to be in a great church that really focuses on having a real, vibrant relationship with God. There is also a huge emphasis on missions and ministry coming from a heart full of love from him. We have been so blessed by being a part of what God is doing here.

Today was the last week in the minor prophets. Our pastor spoke on how the Israelites didn't know and trust God, so they didn't want to put their lives in his hands. They wanted to control everything, yet they failed miserably. If they had only trusted, only submitted, if only....

Then he talked about his father and how he was out of work for 14 months during a difficult period in his family life, yet whenever his father got work, he would give 10% of his income to God. His father told him, "even though we cannot afford nice things, I am not going to miss out on the blessings of God for 10 cents on the dollar."

As we were reading Day 2, we talked about Jesus being the fulfillment of the Old Testament, and how the israelites missed it, and so many in our day miss it too. And that we who have accepted him have been grafted into the root of Jesse and now receive the inheritance of the firstborn, because of what Jesus has done. If the children of Israel had only known....had only been able to see what we now see...

Would it have really made a difference? Do we have enough foresight to change our own 'history' before it happens? What would you do differently? If only....

You cannot change what has already happened. But you can choose to live differently now. Make the choice to freely love him with your whole heart, and live like it. And realize that even though others do not make the sam choice, your job is to love them. Even if they treat you badly or disrespect you. That is not to say that you should allow them to treat you like a doormat. No, that is not self-respecting. Your job is to forgive, and pray for them in love. You may even have to lovingly confront them. But not on your own- God will guide you. But if you are genuinely loving God, seeking his face and having conversations with him, he will show you how to love people like he does. Even those who are the most difficult.

I hope you are being blessed by The 12 Days of Christmas. If you are, or if you have any comments, please post them here or on our website at www.12daysbook.com

We are praying for you. More tomorrow. Until then, may you have joy in the journey!

December Nineteenth

Today is the 20th anniversary of my 29th birthday. I love having my birthday near Jesus' birthday....now. But I used to hate it. Getting your birthday presents wrapped in Christmas paper was bad. But it really stunk when you would get one gift and be told it was for both birthday AND Christmas. That happened more often than I would like to tell. I used to get so mad about that, and think to myself: well, your birthday is in July. What if I combined your Christmas present with your birthday gift...I tell you, I thought it just wasn't fair! Most of the time my birthday was just a part of the larger Holiday celebration that went from Thanksgiving to New Years. I used to get so disappointed. I got my hopes up every year. Great expectations.

Do you ever get disappointed with God? I am often disappointed, because I set up expectations, and do not communicate them well. I still have so much growing up to do. You would think by now, that I would be past those petty things, but I often get hurt because of my failure to articulate my desires and expectations. And sometimes it ends up that I place those feelings upon God.

Recently I have realized that although my life is wonderful, it has not turned out as I had hoped. There are many reasons for this, but that is unimportant. The important thing is my focus.

Colossians 3:18 Says:
Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

This scripture follows the ones that talk about taking off the sinful nature and putting on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Then he tells us to bear with one another, forgive and let love bind everything together. And that whatever you do, do it as unto the Lord.
Why do you think he puts all those things first, then tells us to submit to our husbands?

I think it is because we need to do all those things in order to be submissive. But it is more than that. We have to let go of the disappointments, the past and the present way things are so we can move on with God.

Lately I have had to put this into practice. If you walked in my shoes, you would think I have it all. Nice home, great kids, my husband home 24-7 to help with everything. And it is great. I am so blessed that I have nothing ever to complain about. But it is not what I expected. I have learned the hard way that all of this is great, but what is really important is not seen here on earth. It is what lies ahead on heavens shores. And I want this to be the entire focus of my life. No matter how things turn out, moment by moment, daily or even all together, I have to focus on his purposes; that they are higher, better and more wonderful than I can ever imagine.

So I am learning that when I get disappointed it is usually that I am micro-focused, and not looking at the big picture that God is trying to accomplish in my life. Ouch! That is so hard to for me to remember. I am so glad God is big enough to take my whining and complaining, and that he is faithful enough to show me the truth.
So today, do something special for your spouse or someone special in your life. I suggest something I read in a book somewhere. This older couple had a phrase that they used with one another. I am not going to tell you their phrase. You need to come up with your own. Write it down and pass it on to your mate. Sit down with your mate and tell them how much you love and appreciate them, and then explain to them that you are going to start something new. Whenever you give this phrase to them, they have to pass it back to you. Then you pass it back to them. Do it secretly and in different and fun ways. For example, you could write it in the steam of the bathroom mirror so that every time the mirror steams up, they see it. I like to write it on the mirror in lipstick. Or in the dust on the dresser! Or on a piece of paper on his pillow. You get the idea. For me, this helps put it into perspective. And takes the focus off of what he is doing wrong onto what I can do better. And makes me grateful for how wonderful my life truly is.

Now I love having my birthday near our Lord's. I love it being part of the larger celebration. I don't even mind having my gift combined...but it better be a good one! And don't tell my husband. He can't get off that easy! Unless, of course it is a huge diamond or maybe a new Lexus.......

December Eighth

I was excited to get to finally watch Julie and Julia tonight. I read the book earlier this year, and I have to say, the movie was much more positive and filled with joy. The book had so much angst and was more or less a chronicle of Julie's highly normal but less than perfect life. In the movie, the same was true, but they portrayed Julia Child as a positive bright light, and who made lemonade out of all the lemons in her life, so it made the depressed Julie lighter just by cooking her way through the book. There was alot of love, and a very few objectionable words, so all in all it was an enjoyable way to spend the evening. And of course, you know I have to relate it to todays devotional.


Col. 3:16
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom and and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to the Lord.

How can you let the word of Christ dwell in you?
How do you admonish one another?
What does singing do to our hearts?

It would have been good advice if Julie had known this scripture. I know that when I get out of focus, I start to microscopicly tune in to my wants, my feelings and my selfish desires and think of me, me, me. I begin to sink and wallow in self pity and most of the time it ends in a melt down of sorts. This happened to Julie several times. Yet Julia seemed to always have a smile, and a secret delight in who she was, but more importantly, she was the delight of her husband Paul. She was so grateful for his love and throughout the movie she never got over the fact that he fell in love with her.
We have an even better lover. One who is the lover of our very soul; our creator who gave his live for ours. One who will never leave, fail, change or abandon us. He loves us more than any man ever could or would be willing to do. We are the delight of his life, the apple of his eye, and the joy of his heart. There is nothing we can do that would cause him to leave us. That should bring us so much joy.

When I remember this, I am delighted in him. But when forget, I get filled with angst and 'when the momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!' So my goal is to be so filled up with him, that I cannot be filled with anything else, including angst. One of the ways I can do that is to sing to him, listen to his music and have it flowing in and through me. I read this idea in another devotional, and today I think it is especially appropriate:

Adopt a song. It can be a Christmas song, or a hymn or praise song. You can do it as a family or individually. Choose ne that will be yours this holiday season, to help you focus on him. Sing it to yourself frequently, When you get aggravated with each other, sing it to break the tension. Or when something is difficult, sing it to add a little levity to the situation. Let it help to remind you to be thankful for each other. Let the music of Christmas set your heart on him and remind you to be grateful and content in every situation. I hope it will change my heart forever. I am planning to use the song idea throughout the year and change it monthly or weekly if I feel the need. I think it will help me have more joy in the journey and be content in whatever circumstance I find myself in. Hope it helps you too!

Don't forget to check out our book, 'The 12 Days of Christmas' at www.12daysbook.com

December Second

Today is the second day of the Christmas Season....joy, gratitude and contentment are the words of the day. God has been hammering away at our hearts on how truly blessed we are and how ungrateful we as Americans have become.
For many years, we have been able to acheive a cheap (really expensive, in some cases) immitation of Christmas. We have been able to afford the 'finer things of life' and replace the joy and contentment that comes with a real relationship with Christ with 'stuff'. Gifts, events and all the busy-ness has become a poor substitute for the real joy and gifts which are family, friends and the memories we make with them. We have done this for so long, that it is hard to remember what this season is supposed to be about. But with the financial downturn, we are now forced to take a good hard look at what is real and what is artificial about our Christmas celebrations. And that is a good thing. We have so much to be thankful for...and its not the stuff. We have freedom in Christ, we have friends and family that love us unconditionally, and food, shelter, air, and on we could go. So how can we close "pandoras box" and reverse this tide now that it has run rampant for so long?
Repentance is an outdated word, but it is what we need. Literally, it means "turn around and go the other direction". I know it is difficult to turn the ship around, but it is so worth it. So it is time to refocus. We have been using the wrong lens, and now we need to change it to the right one.
Col. 1:12 says: Giving thanks to the Father who has qualified you to share in the kingdom inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light.
So be thankful for Christ. Be really thankful, by focusing on what is true, lovely, righteous and holy. Think about what really needs to be done, and what will make the most of this precious time with friends and family. Get the kids involved and thinking more about who they could bless, and why it is important. We decided to do a "Family Motto" for the season to help us remember what we are all about. We got the family involved, and tomorrow you will know what we came up with.
Until then, may you have joy in this day, and the season!