Walk in the Word

Wow! I just looked at the date of my last post, and I cannot believe it has been since last January! The year has just flown!
Well, here we are again at Christmastime, and I was just bemoaning the fact that I was not acheiving my goals, and just generally frustrated with my walk with Christ, because I had once again lost sight of him in this busy time of year. Thankfully, though, I had been voicing my frustration with myself to the Holy Spirit, and faithful as always, he began to reveal why. So here I am, ajusting my spiritual attitudes AGAIN. How easy it is for me to loose my vision. I wonder if God ever gets as frustrated with me as I do with myself and consequently with others?
There is so much going on in my head right now, I hardly know where to begin.
I guess I will start where I am, which is usually better than trying to go backward, because that involves stories that would just take me off point, and go where I am going, but in a round about way that is neither pretty or comfortable. For me, anyway. You might enjoy reading it, but I wouldn't enjoy revealing the darkness that is still in my heart after 43 years of following Christ.

At any rate, suffice it to say that I was struggling with the people around me just not "getting it". Now if you wonder what I mean by that statement, you may not struggle like me. In fact, you may not "get it". Not to insult your intelligence or your spirit, and truth be told, I think it is more my problem than anything. I am prideful and arrogant, and really, just plain sinful. And I am the one who really doesn't "get it" most of the time. That is what the Holy Spirit was trying to tell me.

You see, I have been frustrated with my family during this season. It started even before we began to put up the decorations. Every year it is the same thing: We start something as simple as putting up the tree (did I just say it was simple to put up a tree???) and it always ends with someone mad at someone else and feelings hurt and mom crying. After all, I just want to do a family thing for a couple of hours without all the fussing and selfishness. But it happened again this year and I cried, AGAIN. I used to love Christmas. But after 38 years of living with Scrooge and his minions, and the selfish little beasts who God has chosen to use to reveal my desperate need for him (because of my own selfishness) through (ie: children...5 of them! I must really be worse off than I had orginally thought), I no longer look forward to putting up the decorations. It is now a chore that I do, not that I enjoy. But I digress.

Anyway, they roll their eyes when I say, "hey! lets read Christmas devotions!" or "lets watch a Christmas movie" or, "you want to bake cookies with me?" well, not so much the cookies, cause they know they will get to eat some. But you get the picture. Anything that involves "Christmassy stuff", they act like they are going to the dentist.

I was just feeling so justly self-righteous, and wondering why they didn't "get it."
I mean, its our Saviours Birth for heaven's sake!!! Why wouldn't you want to savor every moment??? Why wouldn't you want to devote yourself fully to this time of year when heaven and nature sings of the glory of God in the Highest? Why I as you? Why?

So I got all up on my high horse, thinking: "I am the only one who gets it. Why don't they care? Why don't they love you like I do?" And all the while praying that they would "see what I see" and that they would love him like I do, while getting angrier and angrier, and wondering why my prayers seem to fall on deaf ears.

DUH!! So I asked God: "Why won't you just show up and fix them? They are driving me crazy!!! Especially my husband!! So I turn on the radio in the car (which I NEVER do) and here was this guy from Walk in the Word ministries talking TO ME! sounded like the voice of God, really.

He said, "what is the difficult circumstance that God is using to bring you to a place of humility before him? God orders the circumstance of your life to put you in a position to see how desperately you need him." Could it really be that simple? So I went to their website, and here is what I found:

The Benefits of Waiting


"I waited patiently for the Lord; he inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the Lord." - Psalms 40:1–3

The longer I live, the more I come to understand that life doesn't have a lot of green lights. There are hardly any times where God is like, "Do you want that? Have it right now. Why didn't you ask sooner?" More often God is like, "I'd like you to wait."

"No! I want it right now!"

God is like, "Listen! You might think you want it now, but I'm going to give it to you when you're fit to receive it. I'm going to use the process of waiting to shape you into the woman or the man that I want you to be. Getting it now wouldn't advance My purposes for you. I want you to wait."

Waiting is not an easy thing. Waiting is not passivity. Waiting on God is not the absence of efforts. Waiting is "I've done everything I know how to do but it's not enough and now I am waiting on God to do for me what I could not do for myself."

That is such an important lesson to learn. Let me tell you about some of the benefits that you get when you wait on God. Here are five verses that spell them out.

According to Psalm 40:1 when we wait on God, He hears our prayers: "I waited patiently for the Lord and He inclined to me and heard my cry."
According to Isaiah 64:4 when we wait on God, He acts on our behalf: "Nor has the eye seen a God like You who acts on behalf of those who wait for Him." That's what God is fired up about. He works for the people who wait. I wonder how many things we don't get because we're out there working for it ourselves beyond what we should and God's like, "Would you just stop that? I act on behalf of the people who wait for Me."
Psalm 25:3 says that when we wait on God, He keeps us from shame: "Indeed none of those who wait for You O God will be ashamed."
Isaiah 40:31 says that He gives strength to those who wait: "Yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength."
Psalm 37:34 tells us that those who wait for God are exalted: "Wait for the Lord and He will exalt you."
Bottom line; God always makes it worth our while to wait for Him!

So I will rejoice in this season! I will wait patiently and know that their walk is their walk and I will not try to pull them along. I will pray for God to do it in his time, and that I live long enough to see it! I will pray, God do for them what you have done for me, or something better that is beyond beyond of what I could ever imagine. And my joy will be in him and in my journey with him, without expectations on the others in my life to join my journey. For it is my journey. They have to have their own. Does that sound selfish? Hmmmm....maybe I better rethink that.....

My expectation is in him, exceedingly, abundantly, above all we could ever ask or even think....giving him glory forever and ever, because he is all that I could ever hope for and certainly more than I deserve. And it is Jesus who brings me joy in this journey. Amen!

12 Days of Christmas day 12

In our homes we have finally arrived at the 12th day of Christmas! It is still early here, and very cool for South Florida, so sitting in the garden is out of the question! My blood is too thin for that! So as I sit here thinking on Him, and how gracious he has been to me, I thank God for the opportunity I have been given to experience his love first hand, and to share his love with you.

Do you know that many people never experience his love? Actually they do experience it, but they don't realize it, nor do they even acknowledge him. I was talking with a young friend about this yesterday, and she asked me a great question: "if God is so loving and is here and involved with my life, why did he allow me to be molested when I was 5?" Wow. I am sure many people have the same type questions. I know I myself was molested 3 times by three people that I trusted, and yet, I never wondered about God's love until I was having panic attacks in my late 20's. It was at that time I began to wonder not just about God's love, but even about his very existance.

I got to the end of myself, and was as low as I could personally go. And I will never forget that day. I was so distraught and really didn't know which end was up. I wanted to believe what I had been taught, but my experiences were such that my heart and spirit were left so hurt because of my perspective on what I was going through that I just couldn't trust anything anymore. So in my desperation, I went out on my patio and cried bitterly. I didn't understand why God would allow me to walk through such a dark time and seemingly abandon me. So I looked up and said,
"God, I am not sure of anything anymore. I am not sure you even exist. But if you do, I need you to show me because if you don't, I am just going to give up."

God did show up. In a miraculous way. Instantly, it was as if I was wrapped up in his wings. I literally felt his 'feathers' around me. I smelled him, too. Like freshness after a rain. The sensation was like nothing I can adequately describe and it has never happened to me since. But I haven't needed it to. I now know that it was his Spirit that manifested himself and wrapped his arms around me. I don't know how long it lasted. I was long enough for me. I looked up again and said, "ok, now I know you exist. Where do we go from here?"

So here we are, more than 2o years later, and I can tell you why I had to go through all that. And I will.

In fact, since the 12 Days are over, God has shown me what this blog needs to be used for. It is to address those 'difficult' subjects by looking at what God's word has to say and looking to those who are wiser than I for the answers. I know I am settled in my faith, but it took many years for me to feel this way. And God is still showing me insights that help me to see things from his perspective, not only from my little tunnel vision world.

So, if you have a question, send it in. I cannot tell you for sure that I will be able to answer it, but we will explore it together and hopefully try to see it from God's perspective.

I will tell you this, I know that God has NEVER abandoned me. He was with me throughout every moment, even when I was being molested. He never left me, and was my strength and comfort. He promised, "I will never leave you nor forsake you and no one can pull you out of my hand". So I know he was always there, always holding me, protecting me. But that doesn't mean that bad things won't happen. But more on that tomorrow.

Visit www.12daysbook.com for more on our 12th Night Feast!!

Day Three of the 12 Days of Christmas

Ok, I had good intentions. Really I did. But Linda and I were having so much fun that the day got away from us, and by the time I got home from her house, which is only a few minutes away, It was almost 1 AM and I just fell into bed. You see, Linda's husband bought her a new toy for Christmas. One of those fancy sergers (sewing machine) with some amazing stitches and we were busy all day making pajamas for the kids and baby blankets for the crisis pregnancy center. And we didn't do too badly, either. 12 blankets finished, 15 pajama bottoms cut out, 1 finished completely and 5 sewn partially. Plus we cooked dinner for both families and put dinner in the crock pot to be cooked today. It is amazing what can be accomplished when you work together! I guess that is why God expects us to work together as his body. But that subject is for another blog!!

Anyway, when I had my time with God in the garden, he took me again to Colossians. I love that letter. It was so appropriate for the subject of the day: The three french hens represent Faith, Hope and Love. And that is exactly what the verses I read today focused on.

Colossians 1:3-6 says:
We (Paul was speaking) always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you, because we have heard of your faith and love that springs from the hope that is stored up for you in heaven and that you have already heard about in the word of truth, the gospel that has come to you. All over the world this gospel is bearing fruit and growing, just as it has been doing among you since the day you heard it and understood God's grace in all its truth.

Wow! If that doesn't fit in with the day, I don't know what does! We have been given the gift of faith in Jesus Christ. He revealed himself to us, and that gives us hope. Hope for now, and a hope for the future. This isn't all there is, folks. I tell my kids that all the time. I want them to be focused on the things to come, not on the here and now. And the hope within us bears forth love- love for our families, friends and kindred spirits. But also love for those 'irregular people'. Those that are not easy to love, but that God loves just the same.

Who is that in your life? I know who it is in mine. Actually, there are several. One of them, I have to spend time with this weekend. And it is someone who is a believer, and has hurt me deeply, in ways unfathomable. But how can I overcome my feelings and love him anyway?

First, remember that God loves them too. And then that we are "forgiven as we forgive those who trespass against us". I don't understand how they could have done what they did, but I have said careless words and heartless comments. And I sure want to be forgiven. So I better forgive!

Second, let it go. Even though you don't feel like it, choose to forgive. When you pray, tell Jesus, "I am so hurt by ----- and I don't want to forgive them. But I choose to forgive. Would you give me a willing heart to forgive and help my feelings to follow?" I also remember that unforgiveness is one of the leading causes of colon cancer. It will literally eat you alive. It causes bitterness and damage that affects you physically and all other relationships. So give it to God and he will help you let go of the past.

Third, pray for the person. Realize that they are lost. If not lost, they are still mortal and living in a fallen world, so therefore capable of sin. They probably didn't even realize how much you were hurt, and if they did, they need to seek forgiveness. But even if they never do, you need to, for your sake and for the sake of Christ, forgive them. If they know what they did, and are unrepentant, you might need to go to them and tell them you forgive them anyway. Ask God, and he will tell you what to do. Don't flaunt it in their face, like I am better than you because you did not ask and still I forgive. But humbly tell them you forgive them and you are not going to let a root of bitterness take root in your heart. If they are blissfully unaware, perhaps you should just leave it that way. If God wants you to bring it up, he will tell you. But if it is someone you have to face daily, and they are a fellow believer, you may need to tell them. You know the situation best, and if you truly desire restoration, God will lead you.

One word of caution: Don't be a doormat. If there is a broken relationship, and it is a continual thing, seek help. Seek wise council and God's word for the answer. But know that continually being abused is not healthy. For you or for the other person. Loving someone doesn't mean they get to abuse you. You want restoration and reconcilliation, but that cannot happen in a hostile environment. Hostility is no way to treat another human being.

We are so thankful that God has shown us himself in Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit. We have faith in him, and hope springs up from our faith, which then allows us to love beyond what is humanly possible. Aren't you so thankful?

Our journey is 1/4 of the way over. But you can still join in. Go to www.12daysbook.com and order your copy of The 12 Days of Christmas in an ebook so you can download now. You'll be glad you did!!

December thirteenth

So sorry that I have missed the last two days. I promise I will make up for it after Christmas. I was not feeling well, and spent most of the last two days trying to get things done while feeling unwell, then falling into bed exhausted. I think I must have been fighting off something. Anyway, I appologize and ask your forgiveness, and will post extra on a couple of days so you can have a full month of devos when we are through.

I am not sure where to begin todays devotional. But I guess it started in my heart about 4 weeks ago on a Sunday at church. They showed a few slides of what The Timothy Iniative (go to www.ttionline.org ) is doing in India and Pakistan. New believers are being baptized and pastors are being trained as I write this. People are coming to Christ as never before. The only hold up is funding. As they passed the offering plate, I heard the Holy Spirit tell me to take off my tennis bracelet and put it in the plate. Actually, I felt it more than 'heard' it, and I questioned if that was what I was hearing, and asked God that if that was what he truly wanted me to do that he would keep it in my heart and make it clear to me.

During the next few Sundays, they spoke about the coming 'Christmas Offering'. They said that Dec. 13th would be the day to bring it, and that it would be used for TTI and other missions around the world. Since this is our first Christmas at this church, we didn't know what to expect, but as I prayed about the bracelet, I felt this was when God wanted me to give it.

With that settled in my heart, I just had to communicate it to the giver of the bracelet, and that was my husband. Now you have to understand that this was not the first tennis bracelet my husband had given me. Actually, it was the second, as I had promptly lost the first one less than a month after he had given it to me for our
15th wedding anniversary. So on our 20th, he gave me another because I begged him for it, and found it for a great price at a pawn shop. (I used to shop there for great prices on unique jewelry for gifts for my mom, while she was living.)So he bought it for me, and I wore it almost every day, and really enjoyed it. But you also must know that my sweetheart has the gift of giving, so when I told him about wanting to give it, he said, 'It isn't very valuable'. I said, 'thats not the point. The point is that God wants it, and I need to be obedient'. To which he said, 'Do it'. I cried a bit, not at the loss of the bracelet, because it is only stuff, but at the thought that my silly little gift could be used by the master. That bracelet might just bring someone into the kingdom! And if just one can be reached by my gift, then it is so worth giving it. So when they passed the plate this morning, my bracelet went in.

Also this morning, a young girl, Shelly, gave her testimony. She is 22, and God called her to Equador for a time, then to live here in West Palm Beach, Fl. She has committed her life to go wherever he sends, and follow wherever and whatever he leads. So here she is, away from her family and nannying 4 little kids. And trusting God all the while. I am so humbled by her committment and willingness. My little gift was nothing compared to hers...my bracelet....her life. But God has placed me here and has my life too; not in going around the world doing his work, but right here, giving so others can go, training my children to have a heart to serve him, and living contentedly, moment by moment in his presence.

My 23 year old daughter has wanderlust like Shelly. I guess that is why Shelly was so special to me. My daughter is living in Ca., following Christ one step at a time. She wants to eventually move to the UK to be a missionary to young teen girls there. When will God allow that? Who knows. But I do know that he is preparing her in ways that she never imagined. He never wastes anything. Not an opportunity, not time, not even a gift of a tennis bracelet. So if we are following, and listening, he will be leading and speaking. Col. 3:1-2 says: Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your heart on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.

I know we used this scripture earlier, but it is not any less true. Let us renew our focus: Setting our minds on things above, not on earthly things. As the old song says: Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in his wonderful face. And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of his glory and grace.

December Third

December Third....what a day it has been! We started off by going to WRMB radio station to do an interview for our book. It was a great interview, and we were ever so grateful for the blessing it was to be able to share our hearts. It will be weird to hear ourselves next week on the morning and afternoon drive time on 89.3 WRMB.

Today was a treat from God. Not every day is like that. Some days you want to end before they really get started. If fact, you sometimes wish you could rewind and start again, but you can't. The reality is that some days go on for months and you are forever changed by them. The difficult thing is finding joy and gratefulness in the midst of them. Sometimes its just the simple things; the monotonous things that keep a sense of normalcy- those things that would usually drive us crazy help us keep our sanity when times are tough.

So why not let those same things make us grateful now; content in our lives, our relationships and what we have been blessed with? I suffer from the 'too much' disease: Spending too much, eating too much, trying to do too much, expecting too much and wanting too much. But what I am trying to do this season, one day at a time is being grateful and content with what I have been given and the situations I find myself in instead of living with the too much's. I want to be content and know that what I have is more than enough.
Colossians 1:21 & 22 says: Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior. But now he has reconciled you by Christ's physical body through death to present you holy in his sight without blemish and free from accusation- if this were the only thing I had to be thankful for, it would be enough. But to that he has added so much. I am more grateful now than I ever have been, and want to focus on being content in him.

Remember our book signing on Saturday, Dec. 5 at the Walden books in the Wellington Green Mall from 1-3pm. Bring a friend and recieve a free gift with purchase! Until tomorrow....may you have joy in the journey!