What a day! We got up early and of course, opened gifts. My family was too good to me this year, as usual.
Afterward,As I was fixing pancakes for breakfast, I was hit between the eyes with the fact that my second born baby girl was missing. And I had to cry. She is living in California now, and since she was home for Thanksgiving, we couldn't bring her home for Christmas too, nor could she get the time off. So I had to settle for talking to her on the phone several times during the day. So my day was filled with joy, mingled with sadness.
Now that all our parents are spending Christmas with Jesus, we usually have dinner at home. We usually do an international dinner, with traditional food from another country. But this year, my husband's brother invited us to their home that is about two hours south of here and since Sarah was not coming home, and she is our 'foodie' and traditions mean the most to her, I jumped at the opportunity to not cook on the holiday. So we headed south. And I lost it.
I was so disagreeable to my husband, and he just took it. He is such a great guy. He deserves so much better than me. But I am so thankful I got him. I was so tired, (from being up too late Christmas Eve doing stockings and wrapping the last of the gifts,)and so sad that I just exploded at him. I didn't even realize how much Sarahs first Christmas away has affected me until I just wrote the above paragraph. But I did know there was a melancholy sadness hanging over me all day. I just didn't realize where it was coming from.
Amazing how those things affect us. Yet we don't have to let them run our lives. Yesterday we looked at 1 Peter 1:13-16. Verse 16 says For it is written: "be holy becasue I am holy."
That whole passage gives me hope. It implies that I have a choice. I do not have to let my feelings rule. I can choose the higher road and choose holiness. That applies to every area of my life. Even those I don't like to admit that I can choose to let him control. And as I let him control more and more, he shows me more and more and challenges my way of living to help me to be more like him.
Remember: We start the 12 Days of Christmas tomorrow! Hope you will join us! www.12daysbook.com